the tales of suck.

so yesterday was weird.
the first half of the day i felt like crap. it was really hard and i wanted to drown myself.
then the second half, some awesome stuff happened and i felt like a cherry pie.


the talk i had with bryan last night helped. i think we were both so lost in what we thought was going on that neither of us took the time to just ask what was actually going on. and then i got the guts to just be blunt and then everything seemed clearer and it seemed to work out well for both of us.
and i was really happy about that.
but now im not so sure...because even though i THOUGHT we worked it out and we're on the same page...i still get that vibe that we totally arent.
women are born with a natural intuition.

i think what im trying to say is that im going to go bash my head against something until im too old to even remember why i started. and then im going to move to florida and live in a community of old people and play chess until i die of natural causes. or the smokey shit air of florida. either one.

boys are stupid. its so weird how i can talk and talk and say how i feel a thousand times over and he can just nod and sit there, being completely ambiguous. and then in the end i FEEL like we both talked it out and we agree, but then the next day i realize hey wait, he didnt actually say anything. lol.
and im not just saying bryan, i mean aaron too.
and colin
and derek
and haiden
and sam.
and every other boy who has ever waltzed up to me and punched me in the gut with his sparkling eyes and playful banter.
curse you, charming boys.


<3