i am currently in Oklahoma at my Momos house in Bartlesville. i love her house...its so cosy and relaxing. i almost don't want her to move =[. granted, she IS moving to bluffton lol. but still.
its not like i knew him that well. its not like i saw him very often or even was THAT fond of him. its just...hes my grampa. my last one. i have none now. theres just something so unpleasant about that. im upset that i never got to know him any better. im upset for a lot of reasons. im just upset.
i just dont want to talk about it anymore.
so on our way to oklahoma, i stayed awake for the entire 12 hour drive. dad was driving and he SWORE to me that he wasnt tired at all and that he could drive the whole trip. we drove through the night, so thats why i was skeptical about this. he had two huge redbulls and one five hour energy and i was afraid he would collapse on the downspin. so i couldnt just go to sleep, i was exhausted but sleeping while in the car scares me at night. so i just didnt. i snacked all night and listened to Phoenix and texted aaron as long as he stayed awake. which wasnt as long as i would have liked it. but i cant keep the whole world up with me if im staying up all night. and then the next morning, mom didnt want us to wake ellen and tracy until we absolutely had to, so obviously that meant we needed to go to breakfast at 5:30 in the morning. ugh. lol. it was good food but i was so tired and so not hungry. i just wanted to sleep. once we got to ellens, we hugged everyone and blah and then THEN i got to sleep and it was glorious. her guest beds rule. and i slept for like five hours, then i could just not sleep any longer. we spent most of the day there and then we went to momos and i had a LONG coming shower that was just so amazing.
today i am hoping to go to the rock shop. its a local shop with...rocks? and trinkets and interesting things. i havent been in at least a few years. which is strange because it used to be my favorite place in the world. im just really excited to go back and get some cool stuff. hopefully something cool for ma baby. i miss him =\ i wish he could be here with me but because of his stinky new job, he cant. i hate him having a job. i dont like it at all. i just wish he could be here with me. i need him. after we have been dating so long, its just kind of ridiculous that we can't spend times like these together. he never even met grampa. ever. i wonder what grampa would have thought of him. i wonder what they would have talked about. i dont like this. i dont at all.