that i really enjoy my life.
here are a few recent updates that really help...
1. i cut elyse out of my life. she was fine being a face in the background until she had to go and ruin it by being immature. i guess i shouldnt be surprised. but i deleted everything...her number, her blog, her everything. and the next step is to delete her on facebook but i have to work my way there. i didnt think deleting her blog would be that big of a deal but its kind of freeing. im also trying not to tell stories involving her anymore. its hard because most everything involves her. but for some reason, those stories arent that funny or interesting anymore. my mom said something really cool the other day that really made me realize something about my friendship with her. i was telling her how i was really upset about elyse so i went to missy and missy told me things that actually helped and actually applied to the situation and i was astounded because none of my friends ever really could do that. they always said the typical things and i didnt really get anything out of it and i always had to deal with things along, really. but then missy actually said intelligent things that i hadnt thought of....quotes and sayings that i didnt know about. idk. but they helped so much and they shed new light on my situations. and i told my mom this and she said that missy is probably going to be a true friend for me. she said elyse was fun to play with while i was in school but now i need someone who is as mature and intelligent as i am to be my equal. i have twenty five thousand people around me in this university and i get to pick whoever i want to be my closest friend. and im not just going to choose whoever i have the most in common with or whoever i feel most comfortable with. elyse was completely right....i DID treat her like my sidekick. but thats because she was. we werent on the same level. she needs a friend at her level of maturity and i need a friend at mine. im an adult now and i need an adult friend. and im excited about this.
2. aaron and i have been working on our relationship and i really think things are getting better. not that they werent good. they have been okay. but last quarter, we were so much better. and then this quarter came around and we just cant seem to find our groove. but i realized that its because we never spend time together. last quarter, we were with each other like every second. but this quarter, i have friends and i love the people at my dorm. i really do. even the idiots. i LOVE them. they care about me and i care about them and its so fun to be here. so i WANT to be here. so im here instead of with him and its really hard for him to handle that huge difference. so he feels neglected and i feel torn and its just causing issues. so right now, i am trying very hard to find a happy medium and make everything okay. which is why we went out to dinner yesterday night and then went to a party together =] we didnt have joel or missy to hang on, it was just us and we had a blast. and then today we watched Dexter together all day =] it was so nice to spend time together again. granted, its not that great because we are both sick, but its still quality time.
so yeah i am totally sick of it. and honestly, the next project doesnt sound too peaches and cream either but i am hopefully going to keep it small and detailed because i am tired of lugging around big things. seriously. im going to be small and precise for this next project, but something tells me this quarter is going to suck no matter what approach i take. this just is not something that interests me too much. ughhhh space. yuck. on the bright side, i LOVE my Visual Culture class. all we do is watch parts of movies, discuss movies, and talk about the political references IN movies. allllllll about movies. i love movies so freaking much. they are like...my life. lol. so right now, i think i will go watch A MOVIE.